“Don’t be shy”, "Overcoming Shyness is easy"! - Easier said than done!
How many times have you had that sentence directed at you?
Relax don’t get your blood pressure up. “Cool your pipes”!
As we say in Australia,
where we have some odd syings and specialising in Small-Talk!
People are sincerely trying to help you out,their problem is that often they don’t know how to advise someone overcoming shyness.
Got a friend who is shy and wants ovrcoming shyness?
Ever told them not to be shy?
Do you want to find a way to help them overcome shyness?
Shyness and lack of skill in overcoming their shyness,and social anxiety can prevent people from being all they want to be.
Here are some simple steps to assist with overcoming shyness.
Let’s talk through the shyness characteristics and how to take steps overcoming shyness• When attending parties or any formal functions, do you or your friend get the jitters?
•Are you/they afraid?
•Do you/they have a
fear of speaking?
in front of a group, because of lack od technique,overcoming shyness?
• Are you/they afraid to meet new people at a social party?
• Do you/they get extremely nervous when you/they are being interviewed for a new job?
• Does fear overwhelm you/them when people try to make conversation and you/they are afraid you/they will say the wrong thing?
•Do you/they fear approaching a girl/guy that you/they like because you/they are stuck for words?
Do any of these characteristics sound familiar? Shyness can prevent you from getting what you want. It stops you from coming out of your shell.
If you suffer from timidity,and desperately want overcoming shyness, you are not alone!
“The flower that smells the sweetest is shy and lowly”. By William Wordsworth, British Poet
If you do feel this way, you’d be surprised to know that it is not just the timid or introverted of us, that feel this way.
All of us need tools to implement overcoming shyness at some stage in our lives. I know that most out-going people, including myself, sometimes feel jittery and afraid – we’re just better at covering it up!
Some of the most successful and famous people happen to be shy, and how many social gatherings must they attend?
The list includes Robert Frost, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bob Dole, Albert Gore, Barbara Walters, Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Princess Diana,some you know and some you don’t, but they have all identified themselves as being shy,
These celebs may be pretty old, I hear you say, but what about David Beckham,and Kylie Minonque?
Chris Farley was shy when he was a kid and for his whole life. It was only when he got on Camera that he became outgoing.
The comedian/actor Will Feral is also really shy; he doesn't talk that much off of camera.
The famous Australian actress, Nicole Kidman, was extremely shy and is still trying overcoming shyness being part of her life.
Zach Efron says he is still shy,and is also working on overcoming shyness. Madonna and Freda,the brunette from ABBA,were plagued by shyness.
And many, many other famous people, both young and old, are experiencing shyness, which is a set of learned behavior, says the medical experts.
So you see, my friend, you are not alone!
The only difference is that all these famous people have learnt or are learning overcoming shyness.
Fear can hold a person back from succeeding in their daily quest for personal and professional success.
Quiet or timid people are often very sensitive people, with great empathy and good intuition, which makes them great friends once they finally make a connection with someone they feel they can trust.
Fortunately, shy people can learn to change these behaviours and the secret is that they must want to change. They will alter their ways of relating, when they are driven by a burning desire to transform and learn new ways to cope with their shyness.
“Behold the turtle, which only makes progress when sticking out the neck”!
To break introverted patterns and overcome shyness we suggest trying the following activities:
•Take a speaking course, locally or through our informative web-site, the-art-of-small-talk.com, where you can learn the basic of effective communication, or join a drama class at your local community hall or college, or perhaps get involeved with
such as; web forums or business!
•Do volunteer work for your favourite charity. Become a volunteer at your Church Op-shop, where you will make new friends and build your self-esteem as you learn new skills. This is so important especially for people who recently have lost loved ones!
•Take the Dale Carnegie Training course on "Effective Speaking." This is an excellent program especially for new migrants, as they receive great personal support from the instructors and the participants. Everyone in the group wants you to succeed in your effort to overcome shyness and you become part of a network of friends in your local community.
•Join a Toastmasters International club in your area to practice your speaking and listening skills.
•Next time you are at a social event, introduce yourself to five strangers. If it feels too threatening, ask an extroverted friend to introduce you to five strangers, but do not let your friend take over the conversation. In order to learn you must be involved.
If English is your second language and it is important to you to practice your English, the above five activities can provide an opportunity to practice your English. All of the groups mentioned above will welcome you and support you in your English speaking goals.
People who appear confident are highly desired in social and professional settings. He or she is guaranteed of a higher chance of success. If you are confident in yourself, it also gives others a reason to be confident in you.
So what are the ways that can help you become an over comer of shyness?
Here are some simple tips to overcome shyness:
Overcoming shyness is not as difficult as you may think. Not only is it easy but very simple by practising the techniques mentioned earlier, and the benefits of becoming more socially capable are endless.
We all at some stage of our lives, having been literary forced to get out of our so called ”comfort zone” whether through work, at home or at social events.
By practice, practice and, you guessed right, more continuing practice, speaking at the local churches and other non-profit organizations, visiting friends and strangers in hospitals.
Having cuppa’s in peoples home, even just chatting with strangers at the shopping mall, while waiting for your long lost friend, the plastic fantastic card returning home safely from my wife’s inhibiting assault on it’s credit line!
We can strike up a small talk conversation with total strangers, try it yourself, it is scary at first but after a while it will be easier and quiet natural.
We have to overcome shyness, by small talk where ever we journey.
Just Do It! Contribute with your conversation, you can do it!
Take that first step to overcoming your shyness today. Pick up the phone and call a friend, or see a neighbour, who will support you in your new adventure, when sharing your shyness around with them.
Here are some simple tips to overcome shyness:
Know that you are uniquely and wonderfully made.
A key step in overcoming shyness is to understand that people care what you have to say. No two individuals are the same, just like your finger prints and the beautiful snow flakes are uniquely original!
When you bring this perspective to the table you provide something special which no one else possesses!
Stand in front of a mirror and introduce yourself and self-talk. This will allow you to see what you look like when you meet someone new. When you practice, do things that you would like to see in a person you would meet. For example, stand tall and smile. Knowing what the other person sees will help you feel more in control.
Spend Time with Friends
Spend time,and small talk, to people who you know, who value you and your opinion and make you comfortable. If you can practice carrying a conversation in a comfortable setting, it will be easier to transfer your conversational skills over to a different scenario.
The people who are closest to you may also be able to help you understand why you are shy and help you find solutions.
Take Risks – What’s the worst scenario that can happen to you?
Attend events where you know you will meet new people. The more you are exposed to social situations, the more likely you are to grow comfortable with them. A casual party or dinner is a good place to practice talking to people and building confidence.
It's Not You - It's Them!
If someone reacts offensively or appears uninterested in something you say it is likely because of an insecurity they have.
A person who is comfortable with themselves has no reason to make another person feel insecure. If you feel that someone is trying to make you uncomfortable, disregard it.
Have a Sense of Humour
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is responding rudely to you, laugh it off. It's important not to take yourself too seriously, learn to laugh at yourself often, and if people are not interested in what you have to say, who cares! Not everyone has to agree with you.
As the saying goes:
”You can please people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot please all the people all the time”.
The art to overcome shyness lies entirely with you!
If you need friendly ears, share your shyness with us.
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